What you mean there's no Easter Bunny!
by ZeroKaze
Summary: It's Easter soon in Konoha, and children are waiting Easter Bunny to hide Chocolate Eggs so that they can search them next day- What did you say, Sasuke? WHAT! Rated T for minor language and minor suggestive adult theme.


**A/N: **_Happy Easter, everybody! This is my second oneshot here in Fanfiction._

_Fun fact: this was meant to be my first fanfic here… But then I realized I wanted try something simple first and I put this fic on hold. But now…_

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi._

_Without further ado, here's-_

* * *

**What you mean there's no Easter Bunny?!**

_It was relatively normal day before Easter in Konoha. Missions were given, new generation of shinobi were learning ways of ninja in Academy and all that sort thing that wouldn't possibly be disturbed by some hyperactive genin yelling so loud that whole village hears-_

"WHAT YOU MEAN, 'THERE'S NO EASTER BUNNY'?!"

_Well, talked too soon._

* * *

_Naturally, the one hyperactive genin who yelled the name of this humble oneshot was Uzumaki Naruto, powerhouse genin of Team 7 and prankster extraordinaire. And naturally, the object of yelling was one Uchiha Sasuke, teammate and rival of our blonde hero. _

"I thought I was pretty clear with my words, idiot. Want me repeat again?" Sasuke said and cleared his throat. " . . . .Idiot. There, you understood now?"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Naruto. "I SHALL PROVE THERE'S EASTER BUNNY AND THEN I'LL BECOME HOKAGE!"

"…How does proving that Easter Bunny exists makes you Hokage?" asked Haruno Sakura, kunoichi of Team 7 and possibly the sanest member. Maybe.

_My thought exactly._

"Because proving that there's huge rabbit that delivers eggs once a year would be awesome! And doing awesome stuff is what Hokage does! It's so obvious!" Naruto yelled.

_Ah, of course._

"Right. Except 1: you're not awesome. 2: Easter Bunny doesn't exist, like I said. 3: And even if you DO prove that Easter Bunny exist(which I doubt), that wouldn't make you Hokage." said Sasuke.

"SHUT UP! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!" Naruto declared and stomps away, planning how to capture this Easter Bunny.

"Should we do something, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked Hatake Kakashi, Jonin sensei of Team 7 and avid fan of Icha Icha-series. Speaking of which, he was currently reading Icha Icha Makeout with blush and giggling.

_He he he hee… 'And then Ken started to fondle Miyako's huge-' _

"Hmm?" Kakashi looked up.

_Agh! See ya later!_

"Kakashi-sensei? What's wrong?"

"…Ah, nothing." Kakashi said with his "eye smile". _"Strange… I could have swear my 'Recognizing-Fellow-Pervert Sense' was tingling… Oh well."_ "Hmm? Where's Naruto?" Kakashi asked, noticing his blonde student missing.

"The Idiot got one of _'those'_ ideas again." Sasuke answered.

"With _'those ideas' _you mean the ones that Naruto makes up at least three times a day which he thinks will make him Hokage? " Kakashi asked.

Sasuke nodded.

Silver-haired jonin sighed. _"Wonderful…" _What is it this time?"

"Apparently, Naruto thinks that capturing Easter Bunny would be so awesome that it will make him Hokage automatically." Sakura explained Naruto's newest idea to make his dream come true.

"Hn. Like that would help. I mean Easter Bunny doesn't even exist, right Kakashi?"

Silence.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"He he he he hee…"

"Sigh… Should've know."

* * *

_Meanwhile Naruto was walking through Konoha to Ichiraku Ramen for getting some ideas. Since after all-_

"-Ramen is Food of Gods and Ichiraku Ramen is God of Ramens –ttebayo! Surely it will help me!" Naruto declared.

…_Whoa. That wasn't creepy or anything. How did you-_

"-Knew what were you going to say? You should already know it's thanks to Kurama. I thought you were the writer." Naruto said smugly.

…_Well, yeah, but… Anyway! Got any ideas about capturing the Easter Bunny?_

"I'll come back with it after some ramen." Naruto said and ran into Ichiraku Ramen.

_12 bowls of ramen later…_

"Ah, that hit the spot! Now then, capturing the Easter Bunny, capturing the Easter Bunny…" Naruto muttered for a while, and then snapped his fingers. "I got it! I must make a trap! I'm a genius!"

… _You know, trap is kind of obvious thing when trying to capture something._

"Shut up! I haven't heard you saying anything better ideas –ttebayo!"

…_How about putting something in the trap that would attract Easter Bunny into trap? You know, a bait?_

"Hmmm, yeah… Like what?"

_Kurama? Any suggestions?_

_And thus Kurama, Kyuubi no Yoko, strongest of 9 Bijuus, Legendary Kitsune and master of chimichangas, was using his over millennium-old knowledge to his advantage. Surely answer from such a wise being would be very unique, wise and something we mere mortals couldn't thought-_

"…**How about carrots? Rabbits eat carrots, right?"**

"But it's Easter Bunny! Doesn't it eat chocolate, or something?"

"…**Chocolate covered carrots?"**

_Writer slapped his forehead. Hard._

_This was gonna take a while._

* * *

_After hours of bickering of what would be good bait material, another 12 bowls of ramen, 50 chimichangas and discussions of possibilities of Chimichanga Ramen, Naruto and Kurama were finally ready to capture Easter Bunny. Humble writer was here to witness this exciting event._

_It was night before Easter Day, time when Easter Bunny would hop around, hiding the eggs everywhere, so that children can search them next day. _

_But tonight, things would be different._

_Tonight-_

"**SHHHHHH!"**Kurama hissed.

_Oh, sorry._

_**Be vewwy vewwy quiet; we aw hunting Easter Wabbit. Hahahahahahahahaha."**_

"…I didn't get that." Naruto said in confusion.

_Not surprised there._

"HEY!" Naruto yelled.

"**QUIET!" **Kurama roared.

_Both Naruto and Kurama had decided to use Carrot Ramen with chimichanga and chocolate pieces as a bait. Story behind this decision would certainly be very interesting, but unfortunately writer was too busy eating delicious chocolate covered carrots-_

"**-and being too lazy to think actual conversation for it, I presume?" **Kurama interrupted.

_-that were delicious indeed. Anyway, trap itself was very simple but effective Barrier Seal; once Easter Bunny was caught in it, there was no way it would get out of there. Now only thing left to do was wait and-_

"Shhhhh!" Naruto hissed quietly. "I think I heard something."

_Well, that was quick._

"**Quick and convenient. Now get ready." **Kurama said. _**"It's strange, though… Why does this 'Easter Bunny' makes me remember something that Hagoromo-Old Man once said to us? Something about… moon? And-" **_Kurama's thought was interrupted when shadowy figure jumped to glade where trap was. They couldn't first see it clearly, because moon was blocked by clouds. But when clouds moved and moonlight showered the glade… They couldn't believe their eyes.

It was, indeed, a rabbit.

A human sized rabbit with some old Japanese clothes to be exact. It also has bag full of eggs.

"That's… That's what Easter Bunny looks like?" Naruto whispered in surprise.

"**So it seems." **Kurama whispered back. **"I have to admit, I didn't expect that."**

…_You didn't expect that Easter Bunny could be rabbit? _

"**No! I meant that I didn't expected that it wears Japanese clothes. " **Kurama growled. **"While I don't remember exact details, Hagoromo-Old Man once told me and my siblings about something called 'Moon Rabbit'. That rabbit looks like one… Although I don't remember it having a bag full of eggs."**

_So… Easter Bunny and Moon Rabbit is the same thing?_

"**So it looks like." **Kurama said. **"There was some other important stuff too, but I don't remember what exactly…"**

"Who cares?" Naruto said. "We're about to capture Easter Bunny! And then I'll become Hokage!"

"**Yeah, yeah, we'll see." **Kurama said.

_The duo(or trio if you count the writer) of Easter Bunny Capturing Squad was watching the Easter Bunny(or Moon Rabbit, whichever you prefer) walking towards the trap. Just when it was very close to edge of Barrier Seal, it stopped._

"Why did it stop?" Naruto whispered in confusion.

_I… don't know. It's almost like it can see the seal._

"But how?! Barrier Seal is very difficult to detect!" Naruto argued.

"**Who knows, maybe Easter Bunny has some kind of dou-" **

"Huh? What's wrong, Kurama? Why did you stop there?" Naruto asked.

"_**Could it be… Holy shit, not good!" **_Kurama thought in fear when he realized something. ** "Kit! We have to get out of here NOW!"**

"Huh?! Why?! I'm so close to becoming Hokage! " Naruto whined.

"**Forget that stupid title!"**Kurama roared.** "I just remembered rest of Old Man's story and we have to get the hell out of here before sh-"**

_**Too late.**_

"Huh…? Writer, did you say something?" Naruto asked.

…_No, I didn't. Kurama?_

"…**Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit…"**

_**Behind you.**_

_Naruto looked behind._

_There was Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit._

"AAAAGGHHH!" Naruto screamed. "HOW THE HELL- YOU WERE THERE! HOW DID YOU MOVE SO FAST?!"

_Yeah! Even I didn't see it moving!_

_**It doesn't matter. So, you're the latest of people who have tried to capture me? I'm not impressed.**_

"SHUT UP! Me and Kurama will show you how strong we are -ttebayo!" Naruto yelled while releasing Bijuu Mode.

_**Kurama? That name sounds familiar… Ah, yes, now I remember. That was name of Bijuu inside little Mito, wasn't it? Although she didn't have that kind of control over his power… Interesting.**_

"Mito?... You knew Uzumaki Mito?!" Naruto asked. "The one who was jinchuuriki of Kurama before my mother?"

_**You're Uzumaki too? **_Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit asked.

"Yeah! What of it –ttebayo?!"

_Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit was silent for a moment, until it started to grin._

_**This is going to be fun.**_

"We'll see about that -ttebayo!" Naruto yelled and started to run towards Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit.

"**Wait kit! Don't-" **Kurama tried to stop Naruto.

"Oh, relax, Kurama. Even if it's Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit, it's still a rabbit." Naruto said. "What kind of threat rabbit could be?"

* * *

_Konoha Hospital, approximately 15 hours later…_

"So let me get this straight." said Tsunade, the 5th Hokage to Hyuuga Hinata, heiress of Hyuuga Clan. "You were walking in the forest, trying to find Naruto, who you have heard was trying to find and capture Easter Bunny so he could become Hokage. After you've searched him 'till it was night, you heard huge explosion. When you got the site of explosion, you found shadowy figure standing over Naruto who was in bruises and otherwise in bad shape. After trying to attack this figure for attacking your crush-"

_At this point, Hinata blushed._

"Oh please, we all know it and even Naruto has finally realized it, although it took him practically forever. Anyway, the figure disappeared before you could hit it. Then you took Naruto to hospital, and during the trip he constantly rambled things like 'that damn rabbit, I'll get it next time' or 'shut up, damn fox, I would've liked to see YOU do better' and so on. That's all?" Tsunade finished.

"Y-yes, Tsunade-sama." Hinata said.

Tsunade sighed. "Well, there's already all-out search of this figure. Team 7 is already out there. Maybe you should also go there-"

"No! I'll stay here to guard Naruto-kun!" Hinata said in defiant.

Tsunade looked Hinata for a minute and then smiled. "Sure, I'm sure he'll like that."

_Tsunade left hospital and Hinata went to Naruto's room. Afterwards therewere rumors that "something" might have happened there…_

_Well, something happened. A quite lot of something. A quite lot of something that was so good that almost whole village heard it. So yeah._

_And this point you readers must be wondering who that Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit was… Well, here's the answer._

_Somewhere in the moon…_

_POOF!_

_Inside the long and huge cave, where explosion of smoke happened, was a quite luxurious room. Something that would fit for princess. Out of smoke walked Easter Bunny/Moon Rabbit. Its destination was the huge throne end of the room. During the walk, EB/MR exploded again in smoke and when it finally reached the throne, there wasn't rabbit anymore._

_There was a woman with delicate facial features, long light hair that reached the floor, two long horns that resembled rabbits ears and she had two dots where eyebrow should be. Her eyes were clearest of white. And on her forehead was third eye that was red-rippled and 9 tomoes circled the eye. She wore white kimono, which was decorated with tomoes._

_Name of the woman is __Ōtsutsuki Kaguya. _ _She sat down the throne and stretched her arms._

**_Ah, that was nice warm up… Too bad I can only go down the Earth once a year in one night and in form of rabbit. Otherwise I would have continued that entertaining fight… Oh well. I have to honor the agreement that I made with my son. And there's always next year…_ **

_She looked up to-_

**…_Wouldn't you agree, dear reader?_ **

**_Wink._**

**A/N: **_BOOM! Done! And it's still Easter! Well, here in Finland, anyway… Holy Geez, this took almost forever to make… _

_As I mentioned in top of this fic, I considered this to be my first fic ever here in FanFiction. Then I realized this oneshot was becoming more complex then I thought… And more longer. How long you ask?_

_Over 2000 words._

_Over. 2000. Fricking. Words._

_Maybe it's not so Earth-Shattering big compared to oneshots here, but 2000 words… I didn't plan that._

_But nonetheless, I got this done._

_Again, Happy Easter._

_Please review!_


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